Why hipsters will be the first to die in the zombie apocalypse

We live in a society that is constantly trying to learn, build and educate themselves in hopes that the future will continue to be bright and growing in technological advancements like our fathers before us for so many years. It’s part of what makes this country great. Everyone for the most part is working together in their own way and field to help grow the American dream and all it’s endeavors. But within this great march of people working towards family and this dream of life that we’ve crafted over the years, we have this specific special group of people that I believe we need to encourage to grow and flourish. But I’ll get to that later and reveal why in just a few minutes. While I’m on the subject of millennial and the amount of things we need to learn. Let me say that out of all the culture related fads and facades that we young people try to emulate in a way that speaks volumes to our own sense of misguided originality, hipsters are the most misguided of all. And with that being said I shall make an irrefutable argument as to why, without any shadow of a doubt, Hipsters will be the first to die in the coming inevitable zombie apocalypse.

1. Woman’s Jeans
Obviously woman’s jeans would be my first pick for the list. But not for the reason that I’m sure you have me pegged. Woman’s jeans are tighter than men’s jeans from the waist all the way down to the ankle, depending on what style of jean we’re talking about. During the inevitable zombie apocalypse it should be a well known fact that running is going to be a popular trend among most uninfected humans who aren’t billowing foam from the mouth while sporting red eyes and a deep burning desire for blood. With that being said I would think that tight constricting pants that hug every orifice of your skin from the waist down including the “man package” would be detrimental to survival. Okay, so the obvious solution is to remove the woman’s jeans and put on something friendlier for running, right? No not for a hipster. Notice how you could be at a wedding and everyone is in nice suit or tuxedo and then the hipster couple comes in wearing an old vintage suit that makes them stick out like a sore thumb? Or you could be hiking a trail that is horrendously rocky and challenging in every way. But not to fear, you're wearing your hiking shoes and Under Armour for reliable flexibility and sweat absorption. Then you pass the hipster who’s wearing Docksider shoes, an old vintage tank top and a pair of 80’s styled gym shorts that just come short of revealing that “man package” that’s already bulging and leaves much to the imagination. So with that being said, what needs to be realized is that it’s not that the tight jeans plays a role in their inability to escape. But the fact that their inability to disconnect from their tight jeans and over all hipster ways will be the culprit of failure over all. Any smart woman will know to simply take off the jeans and maybe put on leggings. Not the hipster though. Removing the jeans would be to remove the very fabric of imagery they strive to accomplish every day.

2. Living in the Past
Hipsters are a special kind of breed when it comes to mankind’s evolution. The perfect image of a hipster is obviously the tight jeans, the old beat up shoes, the shirt from salvation army, a polaroid camera, some kind of never heard of before pack of cigarettes and whatever else the mind can conger within the realm of the word “old”. Which brings me to my next point as to why they’re going to die when faced with the inevitable. Hipsters don’t like embracing all coming of age technology, clothing fashions, weaponry (which is questionable in itself considering hipsters don’t like guns,) so obviously any attempt to survive in the ever challenging elements of a zombie apocalypse will be doomed before survival can commence. OK, just imagine this scenario with me and I’m sure you’ll see where I’m going with this. You have 2 hipsters stuck in a alley-way being cornered by a fleet of raging zombies, on the right of the said hipsters is a Army Navy store and on the left is a antique store. Both of them are unarmed and are faced with immediate death and conversion or enter each of the stores to rummage for weapons and escape. For the sake of being fair and unbiased I’ll say that they agreed to split and have one enter the antiques and the other the Army Navy store. After finding what they thought would be needed for defense and survival they met back into the alley way. The hipster from the Army Navy store came back with a very suitable and effective Ar15 assault rifle and a box full of 20 gauge shot gun shells. While the hipster that entered the antique store came back out with a old 1800s western revolver and a rusted sword from the civil war. The very sad and unfortunate events that unfold are obvious to me, but for the sake of any hipster reading this, I’ll explain. The hipster who came out with the assault rifle and shot gun shells quickly realized that A.) this plastic bullet doesn’t fit in the clip and B.) now he’s dead because of shuffling around too long. While the other hipster pulls the revolver up to fire at the mob only to find that his vintage choice of defense has been blocked and disabled because it’s not a weapon anymore.. it’s an antique. It’s out of date and meant only for sitting on shelf to be admired. Enough said.

3. Debates & Trader Joe's
My 3rd reason is a little bit deeper into the mind of a hipster's thinking when it comes to 3 things: reality, facts and just plain stubbornness. For instance during the zombie apocalypse, food is going to be a scarce thing which means it’s going to be harder to find a Wegmans or preferably Trader Joe’s that isn’t ran sacked and emptied already. So starvation will be something to consider even if there is a Walmart within walking distance that hasn’t been ransacked or noticed by the population. Another thing to consider is the hipster’s absolute disgust with violent activity. During the zombie apocalypse we will not only have to worry about zombies but also desperate people that will do anything to survive and unfortunately hipsters will be easy prey for people like this to hunt, considering they wont be any contest in a fight. The true hipster way and mentality when it comes to fighting is to fight with words. It’ll be an epidemically horrible scene as we watch hipsters trying to debate themselves out of harrowing situations that only end one way, when bringing words to a gun fight.

4. Encourage the Hipster
I could continue on I’m sure a bit longer with reasons as to why hipsters will be the first to go but for the sake of time and energy I’ll stop there and just simply say, we must encourage this cultural movement of people to continue. Why? Well because first of all it’s fun watching people like this that are so far disconnected from reality operate in life from day to day. And 2 obviously the more hipsters that are created and we surround ourselves with means the more opportunity we “normal” people will have for survival. Yea I know it’s cruel and messed up but really it’s all about survival right? If it comes down to it, defend yourself, educate yourself on coming of age technologies, and do what's needed to protect what’s yours. Your neighbor hipster is still trying to uphold an image in a world that is long past dead. So to all you hipsters out there, consider a change cause when shit hits the fan it’s gonna get all over that image you’ve created in the form of a raging bloodied zombie. Which means we’ll have to deal with “zombie hipsters” and no one wants that. 

Millennial's taking on the large torch of Fabrication responsibility

Let’s face some of the facts. Welders are in high demand and in cases throughout the country welding schools are filled with eager men and woman hoping to fill those needed positions in companies that are in dire need of a “good hand”. The generation of baby boomers that have laid so many good foundations of quality and workmanship are on their way out and the scepter of blue collar American pride is slowly being handed to the millennial generation. But is my generation up to the task?

A recent population projection released by the U.S. census bureau last month shows that Millennial's who are defined by the ages of 18 to 35 in 2015 are projected to number at 75 million, surpassing the projected 74.9 million Boomers aged from 51 to 69. (These projections can be found online) These numbers show us that my millennial generation has much to be learned from the Boomers who are now in the final years before retirement.

Obviously I’m talking strictly about any kind of work that has to do with Metal fabrication. So this would include work within power plants, bridges, refineries, Mills, Fabrication shops, erection operations, building structures and so many countless more. You could say in a sense that metal makes the world go round. Which brings me to this subject of choice, are millennial's up to the task? The answer without a doubt is yes. But can we acquire the critical skills needed before handed the critical jobs that Americans rely on in order to make this country run? For instance most people that imagine welding believe that it is simply taking two pieces of steel together and welding it together. 1+1=2 right? Yes in theory that is exactly what welding is, but in reality that isn't quite true when welding what’s called a “root pass” in a part that is attached to a nuclear containment wall that is protecting millions of people from a highly dangerous nuclear reactor. In this instance we've taken what seems to be simple and made it incredibly critical. This changes the whole dynamic of what needs to be learned and obtained in such a short amount of time from the Baby boomer generation.

When I was just a kid I remember certain things about my childhood that stuck with me today. You could say in a sense that it molded me and sculpted me in the man I find myself to be. One of those things was what I remember about my father. My father was very rarely around not because of a lack of his fatherly duties but because he worked so much. Most days he was out the door in the morning by 4:30am and not home until around 7:30pm. He had a strong work ethic that was birthed in the Newport News Ship yard in 1974. Back then it was a no BS kind of mentality, you were at work on time and you did the job right. If you couldn't do that then you were placed at a low spot where you could eventually learn to do it right and that’s only if you had the right attitude. If you were a punk you were just simply kicked off the job. There was no Human resource department that worked on your behalf if you weren't up to snuff.

Today is a much different world. Political correctness spans far and wide on every side of the spectrum. From politics, social equality, racial tensions, world views and even the work force. Obviously that’s only a small percent of what I’m mentioning for the sake of my word count, but you get the point. Us millennial's are in a stage of ridicule due to our differences in how we were raised. You hear the joke all the time “when I was your age I played with sticks and walked 10 miles up hill both ways in 2 feet of snow to school and back” mean while we have smart phones with games on them and anything else at our finger tips. But like every generation before us the goal is not far off and the way in which we get there is not unattainable. Different times call for different measures. What stays the same is the desire to see the American dream come to fruition.  

Something that concerns me as a welder/fabricator myself is these welding schools that make simple assembly line welders and for the most part nothing more. Now obviously not all schools are like that and for me to make that assumption would be unfair. But from what I've seen in a short amount of time is this very problem. You have multiple types of welding which leads to several differences in application that is all dependent upon what it is exactly that you are welding. For example the tolerances for defects on a simple racking system in a manufacturing plant are far different than the tolerances required in building a bridge that millions of people use in crossing per year. Employers are desperate for people that can get the job done correctly according to the code that is required for compliance, but the issue that slows their production is hiring new people out of welding schools that understand how to pull the trigger, but not what’s required to pass a routine X-ray test on the weld itself. We are seeing more and more companies offering pre-employment training to new hires after they have already went through the common year to 2 year welder training programs that assured them they were ready for their new career. This leads not only to dissatisfied employers but also unhappy students who just spent in a upwards of 36,000 for a couple of welding certifications that were achieved in a welding booth. Any seasoned Welder can attest to the fact that a welding booth is far different than an actual on site welding job.

In conclusion many questions are raised as to what the future holds as far as new technology in building, learning curves and the will to see a job well done to ever changing standards. But more than anything I challenge welding schools to further challenge their students. To not only see the boom of money they bring but the change they’ll bring in the history of what we build and are proud of. Change is inevitable and exciting. The baby boomers set a standard of work ethic and pride in quality that shows like trophies all throughout this country. Us millennial's  are in the very last years with the Boomers so dig your heels in deep, stretch your ears out wide and take all you can get. Cause once they’re gone enjoying they’re well deserved retirement. It’ll just be us working the hammers and steel building a better tomorrow for the next generation of America.  

Mad Max: Fury Road delivers the action of the past fuzed with the means of the present

I just left the theater after seeing Mad Max: Fury Road and thought it would be fun to write a little review on what I think is an absolute master piece. Well depending on how you look at the film considering the past installments all the way to this current one. 

WARNING 

(spoilers below)

Opening scene unravels wide open on a scaling shot across a desert landscape riddled with broken down cars, scathing lizards and a sun so bright and real against the sand your skin actually feels the heat. Everything surrounding the scene was silent and dead panning hard right until Max appears standing next to the legendary "interceptor" XB Falcon Coupe, the moment is silent except the desert wind pushing the sand as he looks across the desolate land. Then with the snap of his neck you see the blank face of tattered hinged insanity as the far off sound of rusted motorcycles and loud apocalyptic vehicles coming billowing his way. That my friend is when the 120 minute movie took me from a beautiful gritty opening to non stop fuel injected nostalgic happiness when it comes to everything I want in a good action movie. Everything about this screams back to the classic taste of the 80s and early to mid 90s action movies of old. That taste of pure unadulterated simple plot that focuses more on the need to keep you on the edge of your seat with raw stunts and gritty believable atmospheres. Than some deep elaborate plot that keeps you wondering about what the hell is happening which in turn means the quality of "fight scenes" "car chases" and raw stunts are left to the way side. Remember that scene in Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade where Indie was on top of the Nazi tank in the middle of the desert fighting multiple adversaries? The sweat, the music, the hero's ability to take a beating while somehow managing to not only survive but kick the hell out of the bad guys while jumping from horse to tank to cliff side? That scene and so many others like it was the winning seal of approval when it came to the action movies of the past. Today it's hard to feel the heart and soul of what the director is envisioning when it comes to films. They all feel so forced and machine like, as if plots and scripts are merely placed in machines that easily manufacture the product only to shoot them out like candies on a conveyor.

Mad Max is special in that it delivers that old thought out feeling of good old fashion "Die Hard action. But what makes it exceptional is that the director who understands this kind of movie was able to take this taste and mix it with the present modern resources we have today. It's not enough to call this a good old action movie. It's quite simply an experience. From the way the director makes you taste that sand in your mouth to the sounds of crashing, smashing and scraping of metal on metal glorious fury. 

The funny thing about this movie that differs from the originals is that it doesn't actually fully revolve around Max (Tom Hardy). The movie centers much around Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) and her noble endeavors to save captive slave wives from a tyrannical maniac who uses them to keep his blood line going. I'm usually not a big fan of reering off track from original ideas and premises but this worked surprisingly well. George Miller was able to uphold all needed and necessary standards concerning the Mad Max we all love and adore. While adding the not needed but much appreciated salt and pepper to the already delicious meal in the form of Charlize Theron. 

Overall the movie was excellent in every way shape and form. Thoroughly entertaining through and through. My advice to anyone that decides to see this movie is that you drop all preconceived notions on what you think you are going to see. Don't expect a deep plot or the Academies standard of "good acting" when it comes to films these days. This is an adult fun filled edge of your seat action movie that keeps you out of your world and in the unashamed world of 'Fury road"

I am not a follower of Christ

So many of us these days are defined by something. We find that defining line in our lives peaceful and encouraging. We like to feel that we are a part of something. Held in a special category safe and sound surrounded by theologies, ideologies, principles and for a lack of better words a moral code that was orchestrated and created by the creator of the heavens and the earth. I found myself in that very position of thinking for the majority of 25 years. It was a jail cell for me. A place of captivity that confined me to a very strict set of rules. Within those rules I governed everything I did and thought accordingly. I tried to say the right things, applied the armor of God daily, prayed for wisdom and strength to live a holy life and always wrestled with my flesh DAILY that I might somehow be closer to my God. But was that the exact intention God had for us when he designed the blueprints of relationship at the cross? Maybe it’s your version and it works, if so congratulations I’m truly happy for you but it doesn't work for me. I think the key focal point that I now look at is that “Jesus designed relationship with us at the cross”. The cross is where all the trying & crying died a sinner’s death. The cross is where our straining and obtaining ceased to exist. It’s at the cross where I have the mind melting revelation that it is truly “not I that lives, but Christ that lives within me”. Jesus wasn't being literal when he said “pick up your cross and follow me.” The whole point of that statement was said to confuse you. Well confuse those who he said it to at the time. So many people think that command was made so that we would understand “death to self” When in reality it was said in order to frustrate you to a place of surrender. Surrender to what? The truth that His death to self on the cross was mankind’s death to self for eternity. The only 2 things that we are tasked with doing when it comes to our relationship with Christ is believing in the full finished work of what he has done and simply enjoying the life we have in him. Everything else like “praying for breakthrough” and “entering his presence” and all that stuff I grew up with. In my mind belittles the enormity of what he actually did at the cross. You think he would disrobe his cosmic unfathomable divinity to only do half the job? No. The salvation he dished out for all humanity at the crooked cross of his execution was salvation to man from himself. The sin nature that we are confronted by at the pulpit of the American church has been eradicated. “The life I now live in this body I live by faith, through complete reliance of the son of God that died for me.”

People think it’s heresy to claim that the sin nature is no longer present in us. I say why? Are you afraid to admit that if you don’t have a sin nature you then can’t explain why you have sinful thoughts and actions? 1+1=2 right? Sin nature + pathetic unlucky human = sinful life. If that’s the case what the hell has changed since the claimed dismal of “law” that Jesus came to dismiss? Understanding the simple idea that “it is finished” truly changes the dynamic of any Jesus believing person. It changes how you think about EVERYTHING especially if you were raised in the church hearing the “good news” of the halfway saved gospel. By no means am I advocating that we should just go and act like heathens and sin all we want. No not at all. It’s like drug addiction; if you use once, you’re not addicted. But if you use twice and three, four and then five times, the addiction sets in and you’re now dependent upon it and it rules your life. But by no means do we call that person stuck forever in a “drug nature” infested life that he must now work on for the rest of his life. No he needs to simply come to a place where he remembers who he is and finally get the help that can save him. Once he overcomes that drug addiction in a real and sobering way, he is back to the original perfect design of his best self. We simply need to remember who we are and what’s been accomplished for us. Wallowing in fear that we may stumble and praying for strength in the battle against sin looks a lot like the process the Jews encountered post salvation. It was a song and dance to acquire righteousness which was never acquirable. Our lives should revolve around the constant humbling revelation of our perfect holiness acquired at the cross. But what did exactly happen at the cross? What exactly transpired in our broken hearts that created an atmosphere so different moments before he took his last breath? The answer? A heart blocked by the “curtain of sin” in the temple torn in half to reveal on the other side Jesus standing with nothing in the way, asking you one question; “are you ready for me to possess your heart?” Understanding that statement brings light to the fact that it’s not YOU who are holy and righteous but him who consumes you and possesses you.

For the sake of conclusion I’ll say part of the reason I even decided to touch on this subject is because of the state of our country's health. We were founded on traditional Christian morals July 4^th 1776 by men who believed that freedom was an important ingredient to what could be the greatest country in the world. So far in many ways they were and have been successful in that thinking. But over time man’s thinking has grown old. Logical thinking and Godly principles this country was founded on has slowly fallen to the wayside and progressive thinking, greed, hate and old ways are birthing themselves back into man’s minds in ways that will make it hard to ever turn back. But like so many times before us, Christian men and woman rose up in the name of unpopular change within the religious system. To see forth what could be a better time and era for the future of man. For example Abraham Lincoln rose up to see the destruction of slavery. America answered the shout of evil in World War 2 with courage and a stance for what’s right in the face of blatant evil. Martin Luther King Jr. rose up for equal civil rights for all men and woman.

So what does this have to do with my subject line to this post? The revelation of the finished work of the cross reverberates that in this dark time in the world we can see a reformation in our thinking and hearts when it comes to Jesus Christ and his salvation brought to us. That in this dark time we see that we cannot simply pick up our cross and follow him into the next chapter of what is going to happen. But that we must fully let go of our religion, let go of our need to see his kingdom come, and let go of that old idea to “usher him in.” Instead simply remember who you are in his death and rely upon his true good news that no matter what storm he walks in to calm, you are simply safe and caught within his love.

I am not a follower of Christ. I am resting in Christ.

“For in him we live and move and have our being”